Fascist head-the-balls launch Ulster Plantation 2.0

White supremacist ghouls have launched the world’s shittest tourist board, inviting similarly bile-filled Britons to party like it’s 1609 and stage a second plantation in the north of Ireland. The project is the brainchild of leading bigot Jim Dowson, who took a break from cosplaying as a Knight Templar to launch the hate-fest alongside ex-Ulster Volunteer Force thug turned influencer Mark Sinclair.

The two make a good couple, given minister Dowson’s most recent video for his church laments making a balls of an online payments scheme and haemorrhaging funds as a result. The next time it happens, he can make up the shortfall by getting his loyalist armed bank robber mate Sinclair to perform a stick-up at the nearest ATM.

Dowson’s website Securing British Future openly salivates, Musk-style, at the prospect of “civil war” in Britain. An ominous video there raves delusionally about how:

Every day sees more undocumented young men from war-torn hellholes ferried in and put in luxury billets. It’s an occupation army and we’re paying for it.

The luxury billets are presumably the crumbling accommodation asylum seekers live in, getting by on a pittance of £49.18 per week. Meanwhile, there is an occupation army British people are actually paying for — the genocidal ‘Israeli’ Occupation Forces (IOF) getting Gift Aid funnelled to them by the British state.

North of Ireland — Ethnic cleansing as a selling point

After stumbling through a further few falsehoods, the shoddy AI voiceover then informs viewers there is a “safe white future” for them in the north of Ireland. The monologue attempts to use loyalist pogroms as a major selling point for the region, saying:

Hundreds of Roma were housed in Ballymena for some months, but they made themselves unwelcome, so there are none in Ballymena now. A few weeks later, hundreds of Africans and Muslims were pushed out of loyalist East Belfast by locals who will not put up with what England has endured for years.

Wonderful news if you like vital health care workers being chased away to more civilised parts of the world, helping ensure a health care service that underperforms England, Scotland and Wales. That sound of a thousand knuckles now being dragged from Britain to Belfast clearly heralds the arrival of the best and brightest to replace the fleeing doctors and nurses.

However, the few keen-eyed among these prospective planters may notice that they perhaps aren’t moving to the idyllic white peace paradise promised. Those with Irish Catholic roots are warned they need to get those “Irish-themed” tattoos “covered up”. Right…so don’t have Irish-themed tattoos…in Ireland?

If anyone with two brain cells to rub together isn’t having doubts at this point, perhaps being told about 50% of the region is off limits will help trigger a suspicious frown. The site informs would-be ethnic cleansers that they won’t be welcome in Catholic areas, due to a “noisy, aggressive and strongly ‘anti-Brit’” sentiment among a “political minority”.

The alarm bells will likely really start to ring when a map pops up that looks like those ones of the West Bank after years of Zionists chewing it into Swiss cheese. Marked in green are Catholic areas (DANGEROUS! BAD! THERE BE DRAGONS!), with nice, safe non-Catholic zones in red.

A dysfunctional dump, but at least it’s racist!

“Wait a second…”, white flight shites will at this point be saying, “…this isn’t the bastion of white unity I’d been sold! This is ‘Northern Ireland’! A backward, decrepit, wildly dysfunctional settler-colony which is still fucked after hundreds of years of turmoil! And the ones still stirring it up to this very day are trying to hoodwink me into joining the shitshow.”

Other ‘attractions’ new arrivals can look forward to include a government that collapses every five minutes, a complete disregard for our natural environment, awful animal welfare, and emergency care that resembles a sci-fi dystopia. Oh, and crappy weather. Perhaps most boldly of all, Dowson and co attempt to pass that off by saying:

If you’re a gardener…you may well prefer our damper, milder Atlantic climate to the relative extremes of much of England.

And if you’re a racist, you may well prefer our bigots who are relatively extreme compared to England. Just be aware that if you’re escaping a fictional civil war, you might find a real one when you come here.

Featured image via AmntestyUK

By Robert Freeman