Slog AM: Graham Platner Suspends Senate Campaign After Rape Allegation, Trump Says Iran Ceasefire Is Over, Congresswoman Marie Gluesenkamp Perez Goes Bananas

Platner Out: Graham Platner suspended his campaign for Senate in Maine. He once again proved that when a man is publicly accused of rape, people will fall over themselves to wave away that accusation. Novelly, he also proved that same man can have a Totenkopf tattoo—the Nazi skull and crossbones those familiar with the obscure film franchise Indiana Jones would recognize—and play dumb about its meaning, despite his ex-girlfriend and former political director knowing what it was before he did (or so he says). Platner’s world was dotted with red flags and lies, and he was hardly a special candidate or even an unconventional man, which is obvious if you have spent any part of your life outside one of eight American cities. Democrats will put forward a new nominee to challenge Republican Sen. Susan Collins. The party needs that candidate to win in order to reclaim the Senate majority.  The party has until July 27 to nominate Platner’s replacement. 

The Headline Says It All: “Bainbridge Island Police Department Women’s Self-Defense Instructor Charged with Domestic Violence” writes Stranger reporter Hunter Pauli.

Us Country Folk Know a Thing or Two About Razorbacks: Do you city slickers have any earthly idea what will happen if Texas’s 30-50 3.5 million to 6 million feral hogs become infested with New World screwworm? The flesh-eating larvae will eat the pigs from the inside out, which seems like one way of solving the pig problem until you consider that all warm-blooded animals are vulnerable. A screwworm infestation can kill a cow in less than a week. Texas ranchers worry their herds could be ravaged. There have been 30 cases of New World screwworm since the insect returned to Texas, but any interaction between the two troublesome species could spiral. Hogs travel fast and, like Bible-thumping Texans, have been fruitful and multiplied.

The ceasefire (that never really was) is over, says President Donald Trump, and he is bombing Iran. The US launched strikes after Iranian attacks on ships in the Strait of Hormuz. Iran has accused us of hitting its only nuclear power plant.

Trump, the foreign policy expert and mentally competent octogenarian, in a press conference with Volodymyr Zelenskyy called the Ukrainian President by his enemy’s name (“President Putin”), referred to the “Islamic Republic of Iran” as the “Islamic Republic of Japan,” called “Tik Tok” “tic tac” twice, and misnamed the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA), an Obama-era Iran nuclear deal, as “JCPOC.” Unclear if that last one was a mistake or the usual racism.

Fire Ceased: I-90, the only bridge over the Columbia for a long way, was cut by fire west of Vantage on Wednesday. As of this morning, evacuations have been lifted, I-90 has reopened, and the “rapidly moving wildfire” has burned 800 acres.  

Go Dogs: University of Washington’s women’s sports program won the inaugural Big Ten Women’s Championship Series, beating UCLA by 1.2 points. According to The Seattle Times, the scoring combines and weights results from the regular and postseasons across multiple sports. The UW’s women’s soccer team was the first Big Ten team to win the regular season and tournament championship since 2016. Women’s rowing also won its championship.

Go Bear: We have the first documented instance of a black bear using the animal bridge over I-90 in Snoqualmie Pass. Nearly 10,000 animals have been filmed on the overcrossing since 2018, but bears are “a little bit” suspicious and take their time.

(Minion voice) Banana: Marie Gluesenkamp Perez has slipped a version of her “banana bill” into the Farm Bill. Gluesenkamp Perez’s Banana legislation to peel away bureaucratic policy and allow childcare centers to easily serve fresh fruit. She got glued to this idea after learning of a Washington law that supposedly prevents childcare workers in Washington from peeling bananas for children unless their workplaces had multiple sinks for food preparation. Campfire stories about the big bad bureaucrats are standard fare for conservative Democrats and tearing down whatever wall exists between children and fruit sounds good to most people. But as Current Affairs wrote in 2024, there is no such banana policy in Washington and Gluesenkamp Perez’s assertion that state regulators had repeatedly “misled” her about its existence may have been old-fashioned foolishness of the “I do my own research” variety. In fact, the banana-blocking regulations actually require fresh fruit in childcare settings. The only rule that “even faintly resembled” what MGP described was in Austin, Texas, a state that is not Washington. The Washington Department of Children, Youth, and Families has not identified “any state statutes that would be affected by the provision,” according to The Seattle Times; DCYF has “never penalized” a provider for peeling a banana or reckless fruit service.

Read This Defector Piece About the Tour de France: The wildfire risk is so high in the furnace-like weather that the French can’t smoke cigarettes. They’ve rioted for less. The heat is so oppressive, cyclists are shoving Tour-banned ice socks in their jerseys. The whole sport is about suffering, so it says something that the athletes are taking such drastic measures. I wonder, will we still be able to enjoy spectacular feats of athleticism if we continue to live impossibly in this combustible world of ours? The French would smoke a cigarette about this.

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