Donβt worry: we get that sinking feeling too when Andy Burnham opens his mouth
If youβve ever watched a politician promise you a three-course meal only to hand you a single stale budget-brand biscuit, you will recognise that exact sinking feeling I get whenever Andy Burnham opens his mouth.
Andy Burnham: not sensible
For years now, heβs been held up as Labourβs great sensible left hope β the man who stood up for the north, whoβd take on the Westminster machine, who might just drag the party back to its working-class roots without scaring off anyone who owns more than one house.
Itβs a great story. Itβs also about as believable as a government minister telling you that food banks are actually a nice treat for people who like trying new things.
And when you look at Burnhamβs record, and the dead end the national Labour Party has walked into, two uncomfortable truths stare right back.
First, we should expect almost nothing from him, and the only shift that could save the party is one the establishment would rather eat a copy of The Manifesto for Public Ownership than actually allow.
Letβs start with the man himself. Burnham was a loyal sidekick to a regime that privatised everything that wasnβt nailed down, invaded a country on a hunch, and treated the super-rich like favourite nephews while telling the rest of us to tighten our belts.
As Mayor of Greater Manchester, he has delivered top-tier rhetoric. He raged against Tory neglect, called for proper devolution, and even once wore a high-vis jacket, which apparently counts as solidarity in some political circles.
But actions, as they say, speak louder than carefully rehearsed soundbites delivered in a train station.
Words. Words are all he has.
Burnham has spoken out against austerity β these are words. Yet Burnham has presided over vicious cuts to local libraries, youth clubs and care services β these are actions that he justifies as if it is the only βrealistic optionβ, rather than doing what any self-respecting mayor would do and tell Westminster where to shove itβs worthless pity crumbs.
When bus workers went on strike for pay that doesnβt force them to choose between heating and eating, he spent more time warning about βdisruption to commutersβ and urging βaffordable, sustainableβ deals than standing with them β as if getting people to their underpaid jobs on time is the only thing that matters.
On social care, housing, the cost of living? Lots of βI feel your painβ faces, but zero policies that would make a single millionaire wince.
This isnβt a personal dig β Iβm sure heβs very nice to his neighbours, doesnβt have a bonfire when next door have got their smalls drying on the washing line, and he probably remembers to take his recycling out. Itβs just that Burnhamβs leftism only ever stretches as far as the establishment will let it.
And that brings us to the bigger mess. The Labour Party itself.
For decades itβs drifted right, ditching redistribution, public ownership and solidarity to chase the votes of people whoβll never vote for them anyway, and the approval of CEOs who think a living wage is what they pay their gardener.
Drifters
Under Keir Starmer, that drift has become a panicked sprint down the wrong path. Theyβve disowned pledges to nationalise energy, water and rail β apparently itβs a bit too radical to want our own utilities to work for us instead of shareholders in Bermuda.
Theyβve backed away from taxing the rich, gone harder on refugees and benefits than some Tories, and spent more time purging socialists from the party than theyβve spent talking about how to fix the NHS.
They will tell you this is βelectabilityβ. But this is a myth built on fear and focus groups run by people whoβve never had to decide between filling the fridge or filling the car.
The last time Labour won big in 1997, they were helped along by a booming economy and a Tory government that had spent years tripping over its own feet. Since then, the world has shifted.
When Jeremy Corbyn stood on a left platform in 2017, Labour gained more votes than any opposition since 1945 β more than enough to win if the system wasnβt rigged against them.
Labour wonβt win by being Tory-lite with slightly better manners and it certainly It wonβt win by offering minor tweaks to a system thatβs rigged against most of us.
The only way back is a proper, unapologetic lurch to the left. Bring key industries home, tax wealth not work, scrap the anti-union laws, build social housing faster than landlords can buy it up, and do the Green New Deal properly β the kind that creates jobs and cuts bills, not just gives tax breaks to big oil corporations.
But hereβs the catch.
Spoiler alert: Burnham wonβt save you
The establishment will never let that happen. The right-wing press would launch a smear campaign so ferocious even the Daily Mailβs headline writers would get cramps.
Big business would threaten to run away to Luxembourg β ignoring the fact most of them never actually do β they just like shouting about it, and Labourβs multi-millionaire donors who bankroll the party would take their chequebooks elsewhere faster than you can scream βcorporate tax avoidanceβ.
Weβve seen it all before. Any leader who tries to put people before profit gets crushed, smeared and frozen out β and Burnham knows this better than anyone. He knows the rules of the game, and heβs chosen to play it safe rather than rewrite the rulebook.
That doesnβt mean we give up, of course. It means we have to stop waiting for politicians to save us. It means we build our own power β in unions, community groups, and even in grassroots football clubs like the Canary-sponsored Great Western FC, where they donβt have to worry about what the shareholders think before they pass the ball.
But right now, thereβs no sign Labour is ready to change. No sign Burnham is ready to upset the people who will pay for his Number 10 soirΓ©eβs. And until there is, my expectations will stay firmly on the floor β right next to my winter fuel bill and the last time I could get a GP appointment without having to feel like a Squid Game contestant.
Hope is lovely, but Iβm done falling for the same old tricks, and Iβm most definitely done holding my breath for politicians whoβd rather look good than do good.
Featured image via the Canary