Barnaby Joyce owes me a beer

Barnaby Joyce stole my beer. More importantly, Pauline Hanson is trying to steal the Australian soul with her moronculturalism. Monte Dwyer with the story.

Some years ago, I attended the victory party of a mate who’d just won a seat in State Parliament. It was a raucous affair, as winners’ bashes tend to be, and fighting one’s way to the bar wasn’t for the faint-hearted. Consequently, when I returned to my group with a fresh round, I wasn’t impressed when the interloping Barnaby Joyce helped himself to one of the beers – my beer, as it played out – forcing me to line up at the bar again.

Fast-forward a decade or so, and I recently had the opportunity to remind Barnaby he still owed me that beer, to which imposition he harrumphed and turned his back on me. Rude, yes, and had the occasion not been a funeral, I might have pushed the matter further, just to see if I could make his face any redder.

Now he’s hitched his wagon to Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party to help deliver Australia its very own version of the USA’s MAGA or the UK’s Reform, or whatever strain of right-wing politics you care to equate it to.

The odd couple

This is not a marriage made in heaven. Hanson leads with a chip on her shoulder and the bit of grievance between her teeth – see “trashy journalist” attack on respected Guardian journo Sarah Martin, for reference – and I fully expect her One Nation Party to implode again like so many 1998 QLD State Parliament seats; especially now she’s being courted by the big end of town (beware the gifted planes, Pauline, and for that matter the Israeli-owned, made-in-Australia drones).

If there’s one thing this country doesn’t need is more Israeli influence. Thanks anyway, Mrs Rinehart.

Barnaby is a different tomato altogether. He’s a career politician who knows an opportunity when he sees one, and he’s acutely aware of the prevailing winds of populism sweeping the globe. He surely hasn’t been drawn to One Nation for its policies – even he couldn’t explain the difference between “multiracial” and “multicultural,” or how his boss hopes to achieve her stated aim of “monoculturalism” 250 years after the horse bolted.

No, I suspect Barnaby’s joined One Nation because he’s reading the big room. Worldwide, people are shunning mainstream political parties, looking for quick-fix alternatives, and Barnaby is positioning himself to capitalise on that trend.

To that point, I recently did a road trip through the ‘red’ states of the US, trying to understand why Americans voted Trump in for a second term. For my money, his questionable behaviour during his first term alone should have disqualified him from another stint in the White House. Yet I was wrong.

Among the many causative factors I discovered, so desperate for change were the disenfranchised voters that they fell for an unpredictable shyster with criminal tendencies and self-serving motives and made him their president (again). And now they’re in a such a mess domestically and geopolitically that it’s hard to see any positive outcomes for the American people (excluding the Epstein class, of course).

Make Australia Great Again

Lately, we’ve been hearing grumblings about Australia going down the same path.

Leaving aside the fact that we have a much better parliamentary system and are less likely to end up with a head of state going rogue and making (bad) unilateral decisions, it is true that many people are disillusioned by the status quo and seek the messianic alternative with the simple messaging everyone can latch onto. Yet there’s a cautionary tale here. As American journalist and social commentator H. L. Mencken observed about a century ago:

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be occupied by a downright fool and a complete narcissistic moron.”

Democracy is under threat around the world. As our attention spans shorten, we become less inclined to think deeply and consider alternative points of view. We want our information short, sweet and delivered with confirmation bias. This makes fertile ground for populist politics, where the clever sound bite becomes more important than the message itself.

And it’s all very tempting to believe there really is a simple solution to the complex matter of governance. But there isn’t. Managing people is complicated. Problems require clear thinking, time and ideally experience to solve. Thus far, I’ve not seen a populist movement prepared to apply anything like these qualities to the betterment of humanity.

So, whether Barnaby and Pauline live happily ever after or not, he’d do himself a favour by remembering most Australians still believe in a fair go, and that means shouting when it’s your turn.

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